Bye Bye Grandpa

Kakek dari pihak ibuku meninggal… kemarin. Hari Jumat, tanggal 29 Februari 2008.

That’s why my mother rushed to the airport that day. She wasn’t home when I came home that day. Not saying anything to me. My father who picked me at campus told me. I was about to cry. It was shocking news…

Sekarang orang tuaku pulang ke Pontianak, dua-duanya. Tinggallah aku, adik, dan nenek pihak ayah yang jaga rumah. Kenapa kita tidak pulang juga? Well, because we have to go on with living. Jojo masih sekolah, aku kuliah, dan mereka tidak ingin mengganggu aktivitasku… seriously… is that what they were thinking? It’s not that I want to attend the funeral anyway… maybe I won’t be crying…

No, no. the main reason that my father didn’t bring me to the funeral is because he is too concern with my mother, as all of us (Jojo and I) did. I tried not to cry when my mother called from there, it’s because I knew she has been crying all night. Her voice proved it… We stop messing around; keep the house as neat as we can, and pray for our grandpa from Jakarta… is it weird when a grandchild didn’t attend her grandpa’s funeral? I’ve heard a lot of my friends attended their grandpa’s funeral. Do they feel sad or sorry? No, they didn’t mourn. It’s no use of attending when you don’t feel sad. It’s just a formality.

So I create my own way of mourning… I know I won’t cry when I attend his ceremony. But when I remembered him, I was hardly trying not to shed my tears. (Okay, I am crying rite now). And I know this is the most sincere feelings I had towards him. Sorry I didn’t attend your funeral, grandpa. Have a nice safe trip to heaven.

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