Gw inget beberapa hari lalu, Jojo nanya ke gw. “Ce, gw kok tiap hari dapat email menang lotere sih!” yang gw jawab dengan kalimat “ah, santelah, gw juga sering”. Hanya saja gw gak pernah sadar kata “SERING” itu. Hakakakakakak. Hari ini pas dia buka inbox kasih tunjuk gw, gw baru sadar. “ASTAGA JO! Kok isinya menang lotere semua!” “Iya kaaaan T_T kemaren dapat 50rb, skrg dapat 1juta…” “Siapa itu Madam Helen Kamara. Waakakak. Ternyata lo sangat dikenal banyak orang ya. Wkwkwk”. Bayangin donk, inbox satu page, isinya menang Lotere ato dapat duit semua. Lawak banget.
Ayo kita hitung-hitung jumlah uangnya.
LOTTERY BOARD 2008, Dublin 1, Ireland.
ATTENTION: YOUR E-MAIL JUST WON FOR YOU £1,350,000.00
Blablabla (gak penting)
Dr spencer williams
Sir. kolyn parkins, Online coordinator for THE IRISH LOTTERY Sweepstakes
BRITISH NATIONAL LOTTERY
You won the sum of £ 1,000,000.00 Pounds from our monthly PROGRAM, you are here by advice to get back to us, to claimed your prize.
Contact Mr.Roy Phil
Blablabla (gak penting)
POWERBALL LOTTERY 2008
Blablabla (gak penting). You have won a consolation cash prize of GBP 1,000,000.00
Contact Person: Mr. Mark Anderson.
Contact E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
Tel Phone: +4470-4576-6947.
Mrs. Stella Bryan
I am Madam Helen Kamara (paling keren nih, gw ketawa bacanya)
12 BP 2114 Abidjan 12
I am Madam Helen Kamara. A citizen of Gambia, widow to the late former minister of finance in Philippine who died on 15th of May 2004. My husband fell sick and he was flown to France for treatment but later died of ulcer and he has been buried. I inherited a total sum of 11 million dollars from my late husband, this money which is concealed in a metallic trunk box is deposited with a security and finance company here in Philippine. Due to the instruction I laid down before I deposited the box, that I needed maximum security/safety of my consignment and no body nor government organization can trace the where about of the box until I am ready and prepare to claim it. for this reason the security company used their diplomatic means to send the box out of Philippines to Abidjan- Cote d’Ivoire where they have their underground secrete vault. This deposit was coded under a secret arrangement as a family treasure. This means that the security company does not know the content of this trunk box that was sent from the Philippine to Abidjan- Cote d’Ivoire under a diplomatic coverage for safe keeping.
My main purpose of sending you this mail is because of the way I found you and perhaps trustworthy to give you this priority of shipping the box of money to any address that you think is very secure and save in your country with your percentage of which we shall chat on soon.
In fact, since the death of my husband, his brothers has been seriously chasing me around with constant treats, trying to suppress me so that they might have the documents of his landed properties and confiscate them. They have successfully collected all his properties, yet they never stopped there, they told me to surrender all bank account of my late husband, which I did, but I never disclose to them this deposit with the security company in Abidjan- Côte d’Ivoire, because this is where my future and destiny lies upon. The family of my late husband never aware of the secret existence of this deposit which I made with the security company and they can never be aware of it.
Out of fear of my late husbands family, and when the situation becomes uncontrollable because of pressure on me from the Government of the Philippines, I decide to look for a trustworthy person who could assist me retrieve this box of money from the security company for onward lodgement into his account for the purpose of future investment. Consider my situation as a widow and come to my rescue.
There is need for urgent action because I’m paying $50 dollars per day as a demurrage to the security company for safe keeping this consignment.. I will send you the Authorization Certificate to call them in my next mail which is the Certificate of deposit that they gave me on the very day when the box of money was deposited under their company. I give thanks immensely for your co-operation as I look forward to hear from you soon.
All the best,
Madam Helen Kamara
FROM THE DESK OF:
MR. KAMAL USMAN,
BILLS AND EXCHANGE MANAGER,
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK,
My Dear Friend,
First and foremost, I want you to accept my apologies for any inconveniences this mail might cause you to read.
I am the Manager of Bills and Exchange Section at the foreign remittance department of African Development Bank here in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso.
In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of US$15.2m US dollars (Fifteen million two hundred thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in 2004 in a plane crash. Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guide lines and laws but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.
Blablabla (gak penting)
I agree that 40% of this money will be for you as a respect to the provision of a foreign account, 10% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 50% would be for me Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated
Trusting To Hear From You Immediately.
Mr. Kamal Usman.
UK NATIONAL BOARD
We are happy to announce that you are one of our Lucky Five(5) StarPrize Winner in this months edition of the UK National Lottery in England. This makes you a proud winner of a cash prize of (£2,000,000) To claim your prize it is important that you acknowledge the receipt of this correspondence your Full Name: Full Address: to our claims officer. Mr: Harrison Belti
Contact E-mail: email@example.com
TOTAL: £1,350,000.00 + £ 1,000,000.00 + GBP 1,000,000.00 + 11 million dollars + US$15.2m + (£2,000,000) = MILYUNER
Jadi pengen nyanyi “Andai a a a a a kujadi orang kaya…” huakakakakak, salam buat JENG Helen Kamara “aa, stupid laa jeng emailnya, kalo saya jadi jeng, saya pertahanin deh tuh duid, masa duid segede gitu malah kasih saya. Salam buat Mas Kamal Usman. “duh mas, tau dari mana saya Foreigner, saya asli amerika kale… saya asli bule loh. Bule DEPOK”